Commitment.

I read a Benjaim Hardy article a few days ago on commitment and weak decision making and realized that my current state in life is a direct result of weak decisions I have made. Don’t get me wrong, I made the decision to come home and stay with my parents for a few months after I saw first-hand how difficult Alzheimer’s was. But, If I am being honest with myself, I recently started to become disillusioned with the whole thing. My life was starting to become grocery store runs, doctor’s appointments, mop buckets, errand running, puppy training, Scandal, and late night reruns of Martin

Benjamin used a Michael Jordan quote that has been resonating with me since I read the article as it made me get me all the way together; I had to get real real with myself. I realized that I have a problem with commitment. For some reason, committing to something gives me the feeling of restriction. The feeling of being restricted clashes profusely with my natural urge to be free. I struggle with discipline because I struggle with telling myself what to do. I’m so free, I don’t even want to be told by me what to do (I hope to sweet Black Baby Jesus that those words makes sense to at least one person). My relationship to commitment has been…murky at best. On one hand, I have compltely committed to becoming a better writer by writing every day in the month of April. I am proud to say that I have written and published an article 21 of the 22 days in April (this article will be the 22nd). Quantity wise: I have written and published about 20,000+ words. Uh…hell freakin yes!

Still, my diet was trashy and working out was almost non-existent; a testament that my commitment to committing to doing better with my physical body is stil a work a progress. — another subject I’ve touched on this month. I read the article a few times and decided that it was time for me to start making some decisions and then remaining committed to them.

I Committed to Taking Flight

Today, I committed to leaving my parents’ house in June. I have six weeks. A little less than 40 days. I don’t care what it takes, I am leaving my parents home in six week. I love being home, I love helping my parents, but as they have repeatedly told me, the care of my grandparents is the responsibility of my father and his brothers. That would’ve brought my total time here to four months. That also gives me enough time to set some things in place with my family to make sure that everyone is assisting with my grandparents.

I Committed to Chicago

Today, I committed the next four years to Chicago. Before I left Tallahassee in 2015, I had been there nearly 10 years while I finished school. The city was a drag but the stability of staying in the same city for that long allowed me the opportunity to build lifelong networks and gain my footing. I want to build that type of network, and gain that type of footing, in Chicago. Committing 4 years to Chicago was not a very hard decision at all. Chicago has a lure about it. You can believe what you choose to believe about the city: It has its sorrows, but it has its Triumphs. Chicago is unique; its Blackness is unavoidable and unhinged. The South Side is dripping with so much Black Her/History, Black culture, and Black treasures — It is the Blackest city I ever experienced.

I Committed to A 2nd Income

When I go back to Chicago, I am to committed to a 2nd income. I want to live in Bronzeville and the current teachg salary makes that fairly difficult. To live comfortably in the Bronzeville neighborhood and be able to save decently, I am going to have to make a mininmum of 65,000 a year or about $5,500 a month. As a teacher, I was making about $2,500 a month — meaning I would have to make up a difference of about $3,000 a month. I recently pre-launched my professional writing consulting business and have been pleased with the results. I am a long way from generating $3,000 a month but I am on my way ( I generated about 10% of that in the first few weeks of the pre-launch).

I Committed To 4 Years of Teaching.

I am a Bad ass teacher. I don’t have any problems with saying that as I have an amazing gift for teaching Black children Black things. I realized today that — I at least at this point in my life- belong in the classroom. My desire is to go back to 6–8th grade social studies and sciences. I actually committed to this a while a ago. I have been writing my own cirriulum and preparing for my return to the classroom since I left. I am committed to being the Blackest Teacher in America.

I made some pretty major decisions today. Now, all I have to do is stick to them.

You know, the easy part.

#PersonalDevelopment #Love #Startup #BlackLivesMatter #Commitment